A Survivors Guide: 5 Things To Do When Life Punches You In The Face

It can be a warm, sunny day and then life unexpectaly hits you hard.

Sometimes repeatably.

There is a dramatic shift: the ending of a relationship, an accident, the loss of a loved one, a medical diagnosis.

You feel alone, hopeless, and lost.

If you are in a tough spot and I see you. Me too. I want to help you (us) survive the dark times.

Here’s a list that’s helped me get through the storm because when it rains, it sure can pour.

Maybe what’s below will help you, and we can smile about it later on.

1) Talk to someone.

Contrary to popular advice, I don’t recommend you talk to anyone about the specific situation. No one wants to get emotionally dumped on. Afterall, they usually just say “I’m sorry”, which can almost make it worse.

But a connection– even with a small one– can regain our faith and uplift our spirits. Call a friend. Talk to stranger.

Do things with other people.

You need the light of others to break through your current darkness. Their energy will pass through.

What’s going on will still be there after, so be in the moment and enjoy the present of that person. You’ll see the beauty of life again.

2) Be a gangster.

I grew up on Gangster movies. I idolized the bad ass, outlaw attitude. Being from NYC made it more real, as many of these were filmed in my backyard.

There’s a quote in the movie Blow that plays in the back of my mind

“When you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on.”

Everything is temporary. Know that this will pass, like everything. Keep hope that tomorrow is a little better. Just make it through the next minute, hour, and day. The only constant of life is change, and with passing time, that is more realized.

3) Say Thank You

I have that tattooed on my thumb as a constant reminder.

Appreciate what you have. There are things right now to be grateful for; Food, shelter, and life.

As simple as it sounds, it will ground you and flip your mind.

Gratitude is the shield in the fight against fear, doubt and uncertainty.

4) Walk Through It

When things get hard, its life’s way of waking us up and teaching us something.

There is a lesson here the universe is trying to show you.

Instead of running, go toward it.

It doesn’t seem like in the moment, but you will come out the other end better. Afterall, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

You’ve survived 100% of your worst days, you’ll make it through this and be fine.

5) Cry

Men especially need this. The trauma – no matter how big or small – can feel very real and overpowering.

Let the feelings come up.

You can fall into what feels like a dark hole. There are times I don’t feel like myself at ALL. I look in the mirror and think where’s the confident, take no shit boss. I feel myself falling apart. And to be very honest, I cry and I always feel better after.