Depression, Mental Health, and Suicide.
I was scrolling through Instagram late last night like one does on a lazy Sunday, when I came across a friend’s Instagram story of a beautiful girl with the caption “can’t wrap my head around this RIP”. The dates listed lead me to quick math. She was young too.
Something tragic must have happened and when I dug deeper, I discovered the woman was in fact a beauty queen and committed suicide by jumping from her New York city apartment building earlier that morning.
I read further, she had an MBA and law degree.
Young, beautiful, and accomplished, she checked every box of life. On paper, Cheslie Kryst, was a poster child of success. I watched a video, she was glowing and well spoken.
The news shook me. It shows depression and mental health have no boundaries. A tragic end to a young, promising future. If suicide had a face and story, Cheslie was not it. But you never know truly know because Anthony Bourdin, Kate Spade or Robin Williams don’t look like it either.
Despite what you see on paper, you never know what’s going on with someone.
I’ve personally had suicidal thoughts, even recently, and at times have been so depressed, I’ve laid around in my house for days. Reading about Cheslie Kryst compelled me to immediately sit down and write about a few of the tools I use to pull myself up.
I help this helps one person.
Sometimes when I feel hopeless and lost, I’ll go for a late-night drive but here are some better ways that will help you long-term.
1) Connect with people
Life’s moments are better shared. I’ve found when I’m spiraling out, I’ll get out of my house, off the couch and engage in the world around me. You don’t have to talk about what you’re going through. It’s worse when someone knows you’re in a tough spot and they’re constantly asking, “so how are you?”.
I’m fine. I just want to talk to someone and forget about things for a while. I’ll go to a coffee shop and read. I’ll say strike up a quick conversation with a stranger. I’ll call a friend and get lunch.
The key is to reach out. When you’re depressed, you’re turning in. Get out of yourself and extend your arm. When you’re in your head, you’re dead.
2) Exercise and take care of you
There’s connection between the mind and body. No one can argue you feel better when you sweat. When your mind is clogged up, flush it out with the endorphins. Exercise and good food are two things you can do right now that will instantly boost your mood. Don’t dig yourself deeper by neglecting either of them.
Show appreciation for your body. Walk, hike, learn to cook. Physical health is the first line of defense against mental health. You can start there and see immediate feedback.
I go to the gym for an hour, I walk out feeling good for the rest of the day.
It’s a little thing, but it helps. It doesn’t have to be much.
3) Professional help
Professional help is paramount. Go see someone. A therapist will listen objectively. They’ve seen it all before, so they’ll be able to recognize patterns and negative thought loops. They give you the tools to cut it off at the pass before you go to far down the wrong path.
Even if they aren’t all that good at their job, you’ll be accountable to someone, which is important.
Again, it will get out of your head. Writing to me is a form of therapy. It gets everything that’s buried deep, out into the world.
I am no therapist or trained professional. I am a regular guy only offering a few ways that have helped me personally. Like anything in life, there are no quick fixes or short cuts but hopefully these help you get through the day, or the next hour, if it's that bad.
If you’re in a dark place, it may seem impossible to see the light. I’ve been there. Even reading above may seem like too much for you but I’d aruge that’s always how it is when you think too much. Writing always feel like a chore BEFORE. Exercise always feels like a chore BEFORE. Going on a first date feels like a chore BEFORE. It all feels better once you’re in it. Recognize that piece and take the first step.
Keep going. Life is worth it. You’re worth it.
If you have suicidal thoughts dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1–800–273–8255 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
